After watching two short clips on Forever Fever - the first having the highly-favoured son announcing on his 21st birthday dinner that he was going for a sex operation; the second portraying the son who was cross-dressed (ie. man in woman's clothes) and facing his father.
It is vital to remember that the son, Leslie, said that he studied Medicine only because he wanted to live up to his parents' expectations and that he actually hated the subject all along. At age 21, he has now made a decision to stop living the kind of life that his family wanted; and it is time for him to be who he really wants to be.
In Singapore, we have to face our family and society's traditional values and judgement. To Leslie, he felt that he could only be the good son that he had always wanted to be by living out his parents' dreams for him to become a doctor. His father, in the second clip, could not even recognise him when his son came home looking for 'Hock' (his elder brother) dressed up like a woman.
Likewise in our Literature story, Father and Son , Andrew was influenced by several factors around him and decided to pursue his dreams. He also cross-dressed like Leslie and even boldly entered the Oriental Queen Competition. His father chased him out of the house like the one in Forever Fever as he claimed that he could not face his friends again. To him, he has lost a son (and thus published an obituary) because (1) his son has literally turned into a female (2) he wanted to forget his son (3) his expectations and hopes of his son had died. However, it is important to note that Andrew did not fulfil his parents' expectations by doing well in school or qualifying for the Medicine School.
Reflection question:If a close family member of relative is Andrew, how would you and your family react?
*Remember to discuss about tradititions and expectations that your family will have and why it is wrong / acceptable to have a member of the family becoming a transvesite.
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31 comments:
If I had a family member like Andrew, I would advise him to think carefully about his decision. If he was very confident that he wants to become a girl then I would support him. Not because I support the idea of transvesite but because he is family and I should always be there to support my family members through thick and thin. I should not be the one to tell him what is right or wrong even though it goes against his parent's wishes. Its his life so let him so what he wants with it.
Samantha Tan [11]
If a family mamber of mine was Andrew, I would feel shocked and speechless. I do not think that I would be able to accept him as a woman. I would feel uncomfortable around him although he is the same person.
-Tiara,2E1
since i have no brother,i think my whole family would be very shocked and maybe unable to take in what Andrew has said. of course if i had i would support him if he has a very good reason to do so...such as parents pressuring him to do well in school and them planning his future for him.... if he doesn't and he's only doing so because of influence i would advise him to think twice since going to a sex change operation is expensive and there would be no turning back...
Shanneen_12
I think if one of my close family member or relative is Andrew , my family and I will of cause be shock for its quite funny to see a man change to a woman . Maybe i might ask Andrew why he went for the operation . If he is born as a man , he should respect himself and not go for the operation as people might look down on him . And if one of my relative is being looked down on , i might will quite awkward when i am with him so it might be a bit embarrasing for me too .
If Andrew was in my family , maybe my father might disown him for he is embarrassed to have him as a son . But it is okay for me to accept Andrew for it is his choice and it cannot be helped but to accept it .
Nila Rai 2e1 .
I would be startled at the sudden suggestion of Andrew becoming a woman.I would personally ask him whether he had thought really hard about why he wanted to change into a woman.
I would tell him its his decision not mine.Just do not regret your decision.
Muhammad Syafiq 2E1
If I had a family like Andrew , Itry to advise him not to become a girl , as I would feel very weird with him as a girl walking around the house . In the other side , if he really wants to live like his dream , I would surpport her , but my relationship with her will not be that near anymore as I would feel weird .
-TAN JUN WEI,2E1 , FEELING SAD
We will be very shocked to hear that he wants to be a transvesite.Definitely we will chase him out of the house. But we will realise that if he wants to be a woman, we should respect his decision. Because each and every one in this world has their own dreams and wishes. He should think carefully of that decision because that's going to change his life and start a new life. If that's what he really wants, we will support it. But then again, deep inside, we will feel terribly upset and disappointed.
Chindhoo[3]
I will be very shocked and suprised if one of my family member becoming a transvesite.It's hard to accept it.But,I'll still respect him/her as it's their choice.I mean I cant do anything if they insisted to become transvesite.I also believe that it's a God's will,so I wouldnt be the one who becoming transvesite.I might advice my family member not to change their sexual.But we must still respect those "ah gua" as they are human too.They have their own right to become a woman from a man.We shouldnt look at them in a different way.
I might be fine with it.But it's quite awkward being with those"ah gua".People might look at them in different way.As for my parent or relatives,they might be super angry and feel embarrassed.My father will just disown his son if my brothers happened to be like that(that's impossible.)
-Vivian Tee(2E1)
I think it really is okay to be a homosexual/transexual because gays having sex may cause aids, so will people of the opposite gender!
There are all sorts of movies and shows and books telling you to be yourself, and if yourself (as a male) is to be a woman, then be a woman! To me, i don't see anything wrong about being transexual/homosexual.
Reflection question:
If my brother/sister was a transvestite/gay/lesbian i'm sure my big sis and i wouldn't mind. My big sister already has some homosexual friends so i guess she'd be comfortable with it and i guess i would be the same, whereas my second sister might take some time to recover from shock. My mother would probably not approve of it because she is pretty old fashioned. And like Samantha said:
'If he was very confident that he wants to become a girl then I would support him.'
'because he is family and I should always be there to support my family members through thick and thin.'
Dewi -31-
I wouldn't mind having a relative like Andrew. I felt that it is the matter of who he is than to what he is. he is still a human after all, and your own relative. Blood is always thicker than water. You'll never know if he might turn out to be someone who could help you in the future. In fact, there is nothing being transvesite. everybody has his own dream and opinion to whom he wants to be in life. what you should really do is just support him and advise him. - MARK 2E1
If I have a family member who would think about going for a sex operation i would advise him to choose his decision wisely as the world also hated those who change from one sex to another.Still,i will try to pursue him not to do that as the whole family would lose face if this news was spread, and if he did well in school like leslie,i think that my parent would cry or get angry at him or her for doing something which parent,s do not wish their child to even do for we would try to make his life happier by kicking him out and supporting him from the back so that no one knows that we have been helping him making us lose face even more so mostly we would want him to live a happier life as every human being would want their dreams to come true.
If one of my relatives turns out to be homosexual,of course I will be angry.But since I can't do anything about it,I will have no choice but to accept his decision.
But after accepting his decision,I will break off my relationship with him whether he is my cousin or my siblings because I can't stand the sight of a relative changing his gender,identity and wear clothes of a different gender.
And I will surely lose face if others knew he was my relative.
I hope none of my relatives will be homosexual as it will put our whole family in shame.
Willard-2e1
The most obvious reaction would be total shock. After all it is like revealing a whole new person whom you can't even relate to the one you have known all along.After that it would be total denial because you wouldn't want to believe this out of the world fact.
After sometime, I would then come to accept it because it is that person's choice and his life. Even though his out-look and preferances for a partner are totally out of the norm but still on the inside, he/she is still a nice person one whom you are quite familiar with. I could definately not leave someone i know hanging out there with out any support and as a friend and family member the least i could do is to give him support for something that makes him happy. After all it is not a crime to be gay although it does clash with tradition. It is after all not his fault for being born with a mind like that or even being born with female hormones. The only reason that would be wrong for he or she to become a transexual would be the fact that it brings down the family name and that wouldn't even be a valid person if you really loved this person (as a friend/family).
The female side of my family will definately be more open minded on the issue, although reluctant at first but they will slowly come to accept it, after all maternal love is something that comes at all costs. The male side of the family will be really close minded on the issue due to a thing which they call "male pride".
Celeste 2E1 ~
I would be freaked out and astonished by his decision but i will advise him to think about it. To think about the transsexual operation would bring us shame in our family but on the other hand he has my support no matter what as we are family.So,going through this operation is like starting a new life as a woman.
rowenny(10)
If I have a family member who would think about going for a sex operation i would advise him to choose his decision wisely as the world also hated those who change from one sex to another.Still,i will try to pursue him not to do that as the whole family would lose face if this news was spread, and if he did well in school like leslie,i think that my parent would cry or get angry at him or her for doing something which parent,s do not wish their child to even do for we would try to make his life happier by kicking him out and supporting him from the back so that no one knows that we have been helping him making us lose face even more so mostly we would want him to live a happier life as every human being would want their dreams to come true.
_Tang Jian Hup(28)
I think we might accept that ''andrew''. It is because it his own will to become a woman,it had nothing to do with us,we are not him so even if we don't like we won't voice it out as it his own decision. But if we passed by each other we might say hello. Furthermore there is no law stating that no Homosexual is allowed so it is very normal. But i think his family will not be that happy as he is born to be a boy and supposed to act like a boy yet he want to be a woman. I think his parent will be heartbroken but i don't think that will stop him. Acutally there is no right or wrong in this world it just that what you look and it from your own angle. Some may accept him but some may also not accept him. If he wishes to be like that and must determine, i will think WHY NOT? People is live for themself but not for other!
Melvin_2E1
If I were in that situation where one of my family member like Andrew,I were be very shocked about his decision.I would advice him cafefully and ask him to reflect back at his decision.I don't want him to regret about it. If he were to becoming transvesite-his final answer,I would support him as that is what a relative relationship means.
-Muhammad Azran
I will be in total shock and will become speechless. It is unexpected. Of course, families will be disappointed and not able to accept the fact. We cannot judge people and force them to stay as who they want to be. If that is their decision, then all we have to do is to respect them.
If they really want to be in that way, then let them be. It is their own freedom to be who they want to be.
Jolene.2e1
If a close famil member were to be like Andrew, i would react the same way as how the father is the sory reacted. Perhaps i need more time to get used to the new change. Perhaps, i could accept the change but the problem will be on the environment. People might tease him. Since i am still schooling, if my friends were to know about it, i wil definitely be tease to. It will be a disgrace to the family. If the people around us are able to accept what he is, why can't i. I think, my family would not admit that he is their son. Obviously, my family would be ashamed as people might tease and make fun or probably say that they don't know how to look afer their own son. They will be very angry and would not accept him as their son even if he were to come back to visit them. It is just a disgrace for the family. So, in my opinion, i would accept him as he is my brother after all BUT it would take me a while to adapt to the new him. As for my family, i don't think that they would accept him as a son. It's a total disgrace to them.
Siti Nurulhuda (13)
I think that i will be astonished if my relative wants to be a woman because most of my family members thinks that no one should be a transvesite.
Being one will disgrace the family reputation and other people in the neighbourhood will look down on him.Some neighbours will even tease him and he will get pressurized.
In my opinion,i think that no one in the family should be homosexual but if that particular member has specific reasons we should respect his idea instead of rejecting his idea.
Jun Hong
Although i don't have a brother like Andrew,but i can't imagine how i will react if that really happen to my brother.
If that really happen, i will stunned for some time before asking him why he want to become a women.
But if he really want to, then i'll have no choice but to support his decision. If a person want to live the life that they always want, no matter what we do is useless.
Raffles Andrison(24) 2E1
If i have a family member like andrew I would ask him nicely if he is sure of what he wantsas this might concern his entire life. I will of cause support him no matter what his final decision is. and no matter what he is or turns to, I will still respect him as my family member and give him my support.
-Jeremy Foo (19)
If I had a family member like Andrew, I would be quite surprised but would still support his decision. I think dressing as a woman would be more realistic but going for a sex operation might be too over.
My parents may object his decision because he may be the only male child in our family. I would help to persuade my parents as I want him to have his own life and do the things he want. No matter which sex he is, he's still our family.
Miao Ru
If i have a family member like Andrew, i would support his decision of being a woman.It is because i think that this is his decision of life and i should respect him .Everyone have their own dreams and the responsibilty to accomplish.Andrew is a case of a boy who want to become a woman.As his family member, i would persuade my parent to respect Andrew's decision and let them accept him to become a woman.Lastly,i think that tradition is not very important compare to your own's flesh and blood
TAN CHIA MIN (14) 2e1
Definitely,all of us will be shocked and for the time being,we cannot accept the fact.However,if we were to take some time to think about it,Andrew is living his life,not us.He has the right to choose what he wants to be.As for the parents,they maybe very disappointed,but if they want the child to lead a life that he cannot persue his dream,will the child be happy?Life has no meaning to him anymore.Family members should not be too traditional anf think about the child's feelings.
My parents are very traditional,my siblings and I are sometimes mad about them,they cannot understand what we really want.As my sisters are old enough,I believe they do know what they want to be.I hope my parents can be more understanding towards us as in like to be more modern in their thinking.
Ho Ngoc Linh(05)
As a family member i would really feel very sad, but i will surely accept him in time to come. I will tell him to think about his decision again, but if he still wants to be what he wanted then i will support him fully. I will not stay away from him but I will make him comfortable and not regret what he had done.
Dece Gabriela Sulaiman(4)2e1
If one of my family member want to be a tranvesite or a homosexual, I will most likely unable to accept it as if he is a boy, and he change sex to a girl, means that in the future he will be marrying a boy instead of a girl and the truth will be a boy marrying a boy and it is very weird.I would not accept anyone who want to go have a operation to change sex as it is very embarrassing for a family member to change sex.Our parents will also certainly not accept him or her as a family member anymore as it is a disgrace to our family name or our relative.Maybe my father will also do the same thing what the father and son's father do, which is server all ties with that person who want to change sex.
I will not accept the reality immediatly but maybe i will try to forget that person or even try to accept it slowly.The person who want to change sex must be really feel sick of being that sex.A lot of people will get aids easily by having sex so maybe it doesn't matters even if he change sex.
If I am a close family member or relative that is Andrew,I would advise him from giving up the idea.If he insist on becoming a woman,I would definately support his decision.Although his father has a great expectation from him,he can't live in what kind of life his family wanted.He has to be what he really wanted.
There is no use from avoiding the truth.We should suppot his idea as there may be benefits for him.We should not care about how to face people,but living in what make us feel good and freedom.What people says is their business.We must face reality.
No body should tell him right or wrong.Its his life,he has the right to choose.
By Regina Tan 2E1
If one of my family member want to be a tranvesite or a homosexual, I will most likely unable to accept it as if he is a boy, and he change sex to a girl, means that in the future he will be marrying a boy instead of a girl and the truth will be a boy marrying a boy and it is very weird.I would not accept anyone who want to go have a operation to change sex as it is very embarrassing for a family member to change sex.Our parents will also certainly not accept him or her as a family member anymore as it is a disgrace to our family name or our relative.Maybe my father will also do the same thing what the father and son's father do, which is server all ties with that person who want to change sex.
I will not accept the reality immediatly but maybe i will try to forget that person or even try to accept it slowly.The person who want to change sex must be really feel sick of being that sex.A lot of people will get aids easily by having sex so maybe it doesn't matters even if he change sex.
Yew Peng 2E1
I think we should support those that become a transvesite becuase they might have their own reason for being one. I think those be a transvesite should not be teased because we must show them respect because they are also humans like us.
Welson Lee[29]
if Andrew where to be my family member, i would seriously be shocked and somehow feeling of scared as i overcame a guy like leslie, he actually like to attract attention, but well, it was at Hatyai, not in Singapore I was a more of traditional person as i always agree with my daddy. But as for these things, i would say that a person should live to suite their needs. I would support him if necessary as he was somehow related to me as i were to be his family members. As for my family, i think they would not be able to react normally as it was likely a great blow to handle. A male turned into a female, its a bit unnatural in Singapore, they might be teased oftenly.
Charmaine Chua 2E1
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